It’s all Swiss Chalet’s fault.

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We went to dinner last week and when we left, the kids got to pick something from the treasure box.  My two littlest boys picked small magnifying glasses.

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Their grandfather confided to them that it is possible to start a fire with a magnifying glass.  Our neighbour, who is also a grandfather, kindly proved this theory correct by helping them to start a good sized fire on the sidewalk using dead grass and their magnifying glasses.

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My eight year old already has a thing for fire, loves nothing more than searching for twigs and setting up for our bonfires at the cottage.  He is always the one to sit by the fire longest, poking at it with his fire stick once we are done roasting marshmallows.  So it is only natural that he is the one that now is carrying around a Dollarama bag full of his ‘fire making’ materials.

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We were eating dinner last night outside on the patio, when the sun decided to poke through the clouds for a few seconds and Jack exclaimed in between mouthfuls of Swedish meatballs, “Huh!  I needta burn!’  By the time he finished scarfing down his meal, the sun was pretty much gone and he was standing at the very far side of the yard in the hopes of catching one last powerful, fire starting ray.

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He hasn’t been able to imitate the fire our neighbour made…yet…but he can set off the caps that I bought him with his magnifying glass and the sun’s rays…Perhaps a small fire extinguisher should be added to his fire bag.  Or at the very least, a bag of sand?

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Jack refuses to try to burn ants, even though the guilty grandfathers’ in question have told him that it is possible….Oh yes, the tradition of the elders passing on their wisdom to the young is a marvellous thing, isn’t it?  Thank goodness for long term memory, and the essential ‘survival skills’ learned 50 years ago in boy scouts.

I took the kids to Ontario Place yesterday for some fun.

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 At one point a few of us had to use the washroom and a few of us did not.  Using the rest room is always an issue for us if I don’t have my hubby with me, because my 10 year old son doesn’t want to come into the women’s washroom and I dont want him to use the men’s.  This time, though,  Jeremy didn’t need to go, so I brought the little ones into the washroom with me, and he and Paulina waited at the door.

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After coming out of the stall, 8 year old Jack washed his hands, and began drying them with the filthy air dryers that I know Dr. Oz does not recommend using.  I told him not to use them, and he exclaimed, ‘but you have to pay 25cents for napkins here!’

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When I explained that these napkins were actually feminine napkins, for when a lady has her period,  he shrieked something about that being ‘super gross’ and ran from the washroom in horror.

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Boys- they are so easily traumatized. Really.

One day last week while we were suffering through 40 degree celcius weather (about 95 F), we were driving home from the soccer field when 8 year old Jack made this comment from the backseat:

“My pits smell funny! They smell like vinegar!”

I guess running around playing soccer in the heat can make even clean, fresh little ones, a little stinky.

And to think that I have always thought of vinegar as a good, clean smell!

I spanked my son’s bum yesterday…three slaps delivered in the privacy of our home, even though the incident that he was in trouble for, took place outside.

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5 year old Gregory is a very sweet, quiet child.  And as the one who is most dominated in this family, he tends to get away with more, because I feel sorry for him and am always sticking up for him.  Ask Paulina or my hubby and they will tell you, they feel I protect him too much.

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Anyway, I hate spanking bums, but do it when necessary.  Luckily it’s not necessary very often.

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To make a long story short, Gregory lifted my skirt and exposed me while outside….Mhmmm….

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He had been warned almost every day last week about doing this.  He had been warned at church on Saturday night.  Gregory thought it funny to attempt to lift my skirt while standing.  The priest who was not conducting mass and was seated behind us, almost got an eyeful.

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So, even though he had been admonished and given the LOOK more than say, oh, 10 times, Gregory hiked up my skirt while I was standing on our street on Saturday afternoon…In his defense, he thought he was being funny.  Regardless, I dragged him into the house and slapped his bum three times and sent him to his room.  Later, I apologized to him for doing it, as I always do, and explained why I felt I needed to.

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And even though I was angry when Gregory hoisted my dress, my very first thought was, my God, what underwear do I have on?  Is this why my mother always insisted I wear good undies?  I think not..

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Now I’m questioning myself on the recent purchase of a STRAPLESS dress… what was I thinking?

Yesterday I took the gang to EB Games so Jeremy could spend a bit of the birthday money that was burning a hole in his pocket.  He turned ’10′ on Sunday and was eager to part with some of his birthday cash.

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We browsed around EB Games for a bit, found a few games and then went over to Pet Smart for hamster food.  We loooveee hanging out in the pet store, but after a few minutes my allergies kicked in and I started hustling everyone out.

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As we walked along, I spotted a rack of dresses sitting outside a store, and tried to draw Paulina in, as she needs a nice outfit for the end of the month.  “This is nice!?”  I said hopefully.

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She frowned and rolled her eyes as if I was out of my mind…And she did the same thing for the next dress I showed her, only this time, she also recoiled slightly, as if in fear…

I gave up and we walked away, and after a minute I realized that little Gregory’s hand was not tucked in mine as it usually is.

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We turned around to see him still standing at the entrance to the women’s clothing store, both hands gently encircling a headless mannequin’s breasts.  Of course we all exclaimed loudly, and he turned to us, smiling, little hands still feeling up the poor victimized mannequin.

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He did let go eventually…and I can’t say I was really surprised, he did always really enjoy breastfeeding…