We arrived home from our week in Mrytle Beach on Sunday night.  It’s always good to go away, but its also good to get back home…Especially after sitting in a cramped van for 17 hours with 5 children.

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We had a wonderful time, stayed at a great resort in a lovely two bedroom, two bathroom condo. Check out mrytlebeachresort.com to see where we stayed, or drop me a line if you are interested in our specific condo, which we rented from a lady in Toronto. I’ll post some pics later today.

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We spent our days swimming, surfing the waves, hunting for shark teeth and swimming, surfing the waves, hunting for shark teeth…

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It is amazing how many times in a row my kids can jump in a pool, climb out, jump in, climb out..they would never stop if we didn’t make them.

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When we asked the kids what their favourite part of our trip was, they all said-the candy and ice cream that they got to eat every day…You know, we could have done that at home for a lot less money!

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Amazingly, the plentiful, pointy, shark teeth that we constantly found on the beach did not deter the kids from riding the waves…Only I seemed freaked out by it.  Well, that and the jellyfish that we could occasionally see swimming around by the shore.  Once when we were out in the ocean waiting for a big wave to ride in, I saw something swimming in the water and called out to the kids, ‘that’s it, we’re getting out’.  They came in fast, I’m guessing I  must have had a certain look on my face, and no, I didn’t wait for them, I went as fast as I could myself!  You can really freak yourself out when you are standing  chest high in the ocean-especially when your daughter won’t stop talking about how unlikely it is to be attacked by a shark.  And if you do, its unlikely it will kill you.  Really, so NOT comforting.

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One night hubby and I sat out on the balcony, enjoying a beer and a glass of wine respectively, and when hubby got up to go get something, he walked into the screen door.  He lost his balance and fell on it, bending the steel frame and ruining it.  Needless to say he was NOT happy!

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Now, let me just comment here  that my hubby never gets drunk, and rarely drinks more than a beer or two at a time and even these would be an infrequent indulgence.  He is not the guy that comes home from work and opens a beer.  So he wasn’t drunk at all when this incident occurred, but of course I teased him mercilessly about not being able to hold his liquor.  The children were, of course, present.  So here is what 8 year old Jack wrote in his journal that night:

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‘Today was fun.  My dad drank some beer and knocked down the screen door, fell on it and broke it.  It was funny.”

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All our lovely memories at the beach and this is what gets written in the homework journal. Can’t wait til his teacher asks him to read it to the class.

When my son came home from school two days ago complaining that his feet were wet, I did not expect that his shoes had completely been worn away and that both his big toes were sticking out.  Seriously, I am not exaggerating, I wish I was.  We didn’t have time to go shopping, so being the good mother that I am, I sent him to school yesterday with his ‘holy’ shoes (did I mention that it was raining?) and took him out shopping at lunch time to buy a new pair.

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Sabrina and Gregory were with us, as they finish school at 11am and Sabrina actually needed new shoes too.  She loves shoes and her favourites are a pair of pink leopard print ballet flats.  But what she needed were running shoes.  And this is where our war began in Payless Shoes…

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Jack found his shoes fairly quickly- boys are soooo easy!  Then Sabrina began insisting on trying every single pair of shoes that struck her fancy, including a pair of fuzzy slippers that looked like moccasins and she had to have those!!!!!Really, really, had to have them! She even jumped up and down a few times in frustration over my never ending response of ‘no,no,no,no,no…’ What she really got her heart set on, was a pair of fancy sneaker-types with an inch and a half high, wedge heel.   She was determined to have these, went so far as refusing to try on the cute runners I had in my hands… but I held firm and even though she stated that she hated the runners, and would not, could not, wear the ugly ones I was holding, she did not get to buy her high heels (she is only 5, after all.)

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Whew!!!!!!We went for runners and we bought runners, dammit!!!!!!! I tell you, it was hard…I almost gave in, those heels were so cute, sparkly even.  But ‘buy one get one free’ or not, the vision of what my husband’s face would look like if he saw his baby girl teetering around in heels was enough to harden my resolve. So it was, goodbye sparkles, and hello, practical white running shoes…

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Who would have thought a trip to buy shoes with a 5 year old could be so challenging?  I’m really not looking forward to when my girls are teenagers.  The teen years scare me…and then it won’t be simple ‘shoe wars’. It’ll be clothes wars, with me repeating a standard line of ‘But, I can see your thong in that outfit!’ And my hubby saying ‘get in your room and stay there until you are 30!’

Hubby and I took the kids to Great Wolf Lodge in Niagara Falls on Thursday for one night and we arrived home Friday, around 5pm.

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This was the first time that we brought all five kids with us, as the little ones were never tall enough for the bigger slides and we didn’t want to be separated the entire time we were there.  Because of the size of our family, and the expense of feeding everyone when we are out, we try to bring all of our food and snacks.  The last time we went there we bought 4 ice cream cones and they cost almost $25!!!  Needless to say, we did not offer to buy any ice cream cones for the gang this time.

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As you might expect, our short stay was fantastic, we had a great room with a separate kids cabin with bunk beds and a single bed. We spent little time there, as all the kids wanted to do was swim.  The slides were great, we screamed every time just for fun, and happily, the lines were not too long.

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I’m always amazed when I see parents with young toddlers at places like this.  We had never brought the twins to GWL before because, frankly, we didn’t want to have to chase them around a pool all day, as we can stay home and be exhausted for free!

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Our favourite past-time while we waited in the ride lines, up near the roof, was people watching.  There is a lot to see when you are at a place with people wearing clothing that is very close to being underwear.  Too much to see, in fact.  I mean really, when you think about it, isn’t it crazy that we go out in public wearing bathing suits?  We wouldn’t want our neighbours to see us in our bras and underwear and yet we strut around in fitted, wet, clinging bathing suits.  Not much different in my opinion. (For the record, this body has not worn a bikini for 11 years or so.)

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The kids spotted a man who had so much body hair that he looked like he was wearing a black shirt. I have never seen anything like it before and hope to never again.  There is definitely something to be said for ‘manscaping’… I used this moment to point out to the kids that I had shaved before I left home, so I wouldn’t  embarrass them and they did thank me once I brought this to their attention, after a thorough scrutiny of my pits.

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I spotted a woman who was completely oblivious to the fact that her bathing suit top had shifted, and completely exposed her-I did not point her out to the kids. We also spotted 2 prepubescent boys with bigger boobs than me, which was sad and depressing for me at the same time.  Enough said.

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All in all a great trip and with our 25% off returning patron discount offer, it was fairly reasonable at $260.  Not bad considering that for that price we got our room and all 7 of us access to the water park for two full days.   Other than sleeping in a double bed with an 8 year old who really loves his mama and likes to snuggle, it was pretty close to being perfect!

We just arrived home from our 4 night vacation at Cove Haven, in the Pocono Mountains of Pennsylvania.

You may recall a big news story from years ago about a hotel where an employee had secretly installed video cameras in some of the rooms to tape the patrons, and then sold the x-rated videos down the street.  Well, this is that place, the land of romance, complete with champagne glass shaped bathtubs, heart shaped tubs and round beds with mirrored headboards!

Occasionally, Hubby and I like to get away so we can actually finish a conversation and have some ‘together time’. As soon as I pry the last crying child off my leg and make a break for the car, we are thrilled to be on our way, but getting to that point is a challenge when one child will NOT stop crying for a week because he knows his mummy is leaving him.  We actually snuck out at 4am last Sunday to avoid such a scene, because it can get ugly and what’s the point?  My wonderful mother stays at our house with the kids and my wonderful father takes them all to school and picks up the little ones each day at 11am.  My awesome sister in law was enlisted to take specific kids to certain activities, so they wouldn’t have to miss out while we were gone.  After a lot of food organizing and list making and reassuring, we were off!

I get excited about going to the outlet malls which we pass along the way, and although this is definitely NOT what excites my hubby, he tags along with me, sighing loudly and looking at his watch to give me a subtle hint whenever he thinks its time to leave a store.  That’s when I go and hide in the ladies change rooms.  And even though I know he may be looking for me, I don’t come out until I have a good pile of clothes to buy.  Hubby would never get upset with me on the way to our destination, not with visions of heart shaped tubs and private pools dancing in his head. 

 Every time we go away I realize that there is something seriously wrong with my husband.  He doesn’t need to sleep. I have NEVER known him to take a nap.  NEVER. In fact he believes that ‘sleep is a waste of time’, that’s a direct quote.   That is why at 6:30 am each morning while we were away on vacation, he got up and foolishly asked me to accompany him to the gym.  I would grunt at him rudely and roll into the middle of the big bed, muttering that he needed to turn the damn lights off (no I am NOT a morning person!).  My idea of a vacation is not a 6:30 am stroll in the cold to the gym facility.  I want to sleep in and be LESS tired when I go home, but somehow, it doesn’t happen that way.  Hubby plans for every minute of our stay, ensuring that we use all the facilities, including the indoor skating rink, mini golf, basketball and tennis courts etc.  I am not only more tired when I go home, I am sore everywhere.  Before our stay is over I begin wishing I had a husband who enjoyed video games, because there are lots of arcade games there too, and you don’t need to exert yourself to play those.  But, no, not my hubby. 

Entertainment directors run organized games all day long at Cove Haven, such as the newlywed game, where couples are asked questions like “what street sign would you use to describe your wife?” All of us watching know there is danger in participating in these games, with men so dopey that they answer, IN PUBLIC, ‘slippery when wet’ or the oh so endearing ‘wide load’.  Ohhhh it is so fun to watch those poor suckers get deeper and deeper in trouble with the woman they love. I hope those guys were able to stay warm and comfy while sleeping on couches that night!!

If you think you might like to go on a getaway with your husband to an adults’ only resort, all you need to do is tell him that you have found such a place, complete with champagne glass bathtubs, and ROUND BEDS WITH MIRRORED HEADBOARDS.  He will take care of the rest.  Bon voyage!!

No explanation necessary!

This is what happens when you take your kids shopping with you.  This would NEVER have happened if I had gone to Costco alone, but I would have missed hearing my little ones high voices squealing with excitement over the free samples.  This has never happened before, and really should not have happened now-especially with HALLOWE’EN this Saturday.  My husband told me that I made a major error in judgment and though I pretended to be offended-I know he was right!!What the hell was I thinking? 

Mmmmm...Lollies!

Okay I admit it-I love these too!!!