Top 10 reasons to dislike teenagers (No Comments)

There are many, many reasons to dislike teens.  Here are just a few:

10. They are teenagers.

9.  Their hormones are raging and their brains are growing and this makes them mean, moody and mouthy.  Did I mention mean?

8.  They don’t like to be told what to do.

7.  They ignore you when you tell them what to do (see #8 for the reason why).

6.  They cannot be forced to hang up their jacket or put their shoes in the closet.  CANNOT.  They will do it, if and when they feel like doing it…which is never.

5.  They think they know more than their parents and will argue about anything and everything.  Including how they will be perfectly safe going to Queen’s university for the weekend with other 17 year old girls for Hallowe’en parties, wearing oversexualized costumes. (I’m not sure if oversexualized is a word, but even if I made it up, it fits).

4.  They think their parents are REALLY old, even though they try to pass things over on us as if we were born yesterday.  Weird.

3.  They only know how to turn lights  ON.  They don’t seem to like being told that money is burning up as they leave lights on all over the house.  This seems to make them leave even more lights on.

2.  They CAN’T rinse their toothpaste out of the sink…EVER…because, well, GROSS!

1.  They don’t want to hold our hands or snuggle anymore.  (This hurts, but if we tell ourselves we don’t like THEM  anymore, maybe it won’t hurt quite so much).

I didn’t invite any of you! (No Comments)

I was having a shower tonight when in walked my hubby, pretending to look for something under the sink. Then, in walked our 16 year old, who was really looking for something. Shampoo.
.
They left and in came my 12 year old son. Looking for something. He left and in came one of my 10 year olds.
.
I stopped being modest and let everything hang out and jiggle while I dried off but no one seemed bothered by this much skin in the least.
.
Next time, I’m going to start talking about all the parts I shaved while in the shower..and if that doesn’t keep them from coming in uninvited, I might just try locking the door again.
.
But the last time I did that, someone picked the lock and came in anyway..laughing.

Oh he’s stealthy! (No Comments)

12 year old Jack woke up to an unusually quiet house.  He saw that his room mate was gone and knew that I had taken him to meet a friend so they could go to Canada’s Wonderland ( a popular amusement park).

.

Jack was so excited to possibly be the only person awake and downstairs, that he quietly tiptoed out of his room, being careful not to wake his older sister or 9 year old twins.  He barely breathed as he skillfully descended the stairs without a creak and snuck into the family room where he plopped onto the prime position of our new couch without opposition.  He then settled in for some quality undisturbed television time.

.

After dropping Jeremy off, I did a few errands and headed back home.

.

Jack was startled to hear the voices of his younger siblings as they entered the house from outside.  He had assumed that they were still fast asleep in their beds, not realizing that they had gotten up early and gone along with me for the ride.

.

Jack was disappointed that he hadn’t outsmarted his younger siblings ( they wake up early each morning and wait in their room until someone else gets up and heads downstairs) because he had gone to such lengths to ensure that they didn’t hear him!

.

You need to wake up earlier than 9:30 am to be the first person out of bed at our house! It’s just like that old saying – ‘the early bird gets the best couch position’ or something like that!

Travelling with the peeps… (No Comments)

You have never travelled until you have gone on a long road trip wih kids.
.
To me, anything over two hours can be considered a long time. We wouldn’t break out the dvd player at this point but by the three hour mark we would definitely be encouraging some nice,  quiet,  movie watching.
.
This weekend we took the gang to Michigan for Jeremy’s basketball tournament. It was a three and a half hour drive, plus a border crossing. Given that we had just returned from our big trip, we were making this one a day trip to avoid another hotel stay.
.
We brought iPods and iPads, books, cards and coloring supplies for Sabrina.
.
The twins sit side by side in the middle row of the van, Sabrina in the middle seat with 15 year old Paulina on her other side. The other boys are in the back row.
.
Sabrina and Gregory have discovered that playing cards is a great way to kill time in the car. Even before we drove off of our street they had started a game. This made me happy because they weren’t making much noise.
.
Before we got on the highway, they were shrieking and ripping at one another’s cards. Cards were flying onto the floor of the van. Paulina was constantly yelling at Sabrina to stop leaning on her, to stop touching her. Gregory started complaining loudly that Jeremy was putting his feet up on the back of his seat. His ‘disgusting’ feet. They didn’t smell but he knew they were gross from past experience.
.
It got noisy. The boys in the back began debating whether Gregory should be complaining about the feet as they weren’t actually touching his body. Gregory complained louder.
.
All of this going on made it impossible for hubby to continue his ongoing conversation with Paulina about when she was planning on taking some initiative and beginning her volunteer hours, which are necessary for high school graduation in Ontario.
.
We had been in the car about 15 minutes. It was 7:30 am. AM.
.
After I lost my mind and told everyone to zip it, it got quiet. Books began to be pulled out and heads bent to read them. For a while, there was peace..at least until 7:45am.

Birds, bees, ova and sperm! (No Comments)

My twins came home from school with a note from their teacher saying that she would be teaching some details about how babies are made next week.

.

Not wanting them to find out and possibly misunderstand when the conversation in the schoolyard went back to their lessons, I called my little people to the kitchen table and took a break from doing my report cards.

.

Me: Come here so I can tell you about how babies are made!

.

Them: Noo!  Please no! Pleaseeeeee!

.

Me: YES.. Okay.. First, any questions?

.

Them: Ewww! NO!

.

Me: Okay..well, what does it mean when a kids body starts growing hair and certain  body parts start to grow? (They have witnessed this with their own eyes as they have three older, very comfortable, siblings).

.

They had no idea why things grow and get hairy, so I went into details, complete with photos of sperm fertilizing eggs (thank you internet).  They laughed like crazy people. Then Sabrina asked the dreaded question..”But how does the sperm get to the egg?” and I told them, though a slightly condensed version.

.

Them: Really?! That is sooo gross!

.

Me: (finally) Ok, well, I guess our talk is over…

.

Them: ( running away) Thank God!