We just arrived home from our 4 night vacation at Cove Haven, in the Pocono Mountains of Pennsylvania.

You may recall a big news story from years ago about a hotel where an employee had secretly installed video cameras in some of the rooms to tape the patrons, and then sold the x-rated videos down the street.  Well, this is that place, the land of romance, complete with champagne glass shaped bathtubs, heart shaped tubs and round beds with mirrored headboards!

Occasionally, Hubby and I like to get away so we can actually finish a conversation and have some ‘together time’. As soon as I pry the last crying child off my leg and make a break for the car, we are thrilled to be on our way, but getting to that point is a challenge when one child will NOT stop crying for a week because he knows his mummy is leaving him.  We actually snuck out at 4am last Sunday to avoid such a scene, because it can get ugly and what’s the point?  My wonderful mother stays at our house with the kids and my wonderful father takes them all to school and picks up the little ones each day at 11am.  My awesome sister in law was enlisted to take specific kids to certain activities, so they wouldn’t have to miss out while we were gone.  After a lot of food organizing and list making and reassuring, we were off!

I get excited about going to the outlet malls which we pass along the way, and although this is definitely NOT what excites my hubby, he tags along with me, sighing loudly and looking at his watch to give me a subtle hint whenever he thinks its time to leave a store.  That’s when I go and hide in the ladies change rooms.  And even though I know he may be looking for me, I don’t come out until I have a good pile of clothes to buy.  Hubby would never get upset with me on the way to our destination, not with visions of heart shaped tubs and private pools dancing in his head. 

 Every time we go away I realize that there is something seriously wrong with my husband.  He doesn’t need to sleep. I have NEVER known him to take a nap.  NEVER. In fact he believes that ‘sleep is a waste of time’, that’s a direct quote.   That is why at 6:30 am each morning while we were away on vacation, he got up and foolishly asked me to accompany him to the gym.  I would grunt at him rudely and roll into the middle of the big bed, muttering that he needed to turn the damn lights off (no I am NOT a morning person!).  My idea of a vacation is not a 6:30 am stroll in the cold to the gym facility.  I want to sleep in and be LESS tired when I go home, but somehow, it doesn’t happen that way.  Hubby plans for every minute of our stay, ensuring that we use all the facilities, including the indoor skating rink, mini golf, basketball and tennis courts etc.  I am not only more tired when I go home, I am sore everywhere.  Before our stay is over I begin wishing I had a husband who enjoyed video games, because there are lots of arcade games there too, and you don’t need to exert yourself to play those.  But, no, not my hubby. 

Entertainment directors run organized games all day long at Cove Haven, such as the newlywed game, where couples are asked questions like “what street sign would you use to describe your wife?” All of us watching know there is danger in participating in these games, with men so dopey that they answer, IN PUBLIC, ‘slippery when wet’ or the oh so endearing ‘wide load’.  Ohhhh it is so fun to watch those poor suckers get deeper and deeper in trouble with the woman they love. I hope those guys were able to stay warm and comfy while sleeping on couches that night!!

If you think you might like to go on a getaway with your husband to an adults’ only resort, all you need to do is tell him that you have found such a place, complete with champagne glass bathtubs, and ROUND BEDS WITH MIRRORED HEADBOARDS.  He will take care of the rest.  Bon voyage!!

No explanation necessary!